By David Roth
© 22 October, 2003
What shock!
What rudeness!
What indescribable, unmitigated gall!
I am alone.
Darkness surrounds me like a shroud.
I lay wrapped snuggly
In the toasty warm blanket.
My mind is enraptured;
Captivated by the exotic goings on
Of a marvelously delicious dream
(The true nature of which
cannot be revealed
in a mixed family setting)
And which, unfortunately,
Will probably be forgotten anyway.
When, in what must most certainly be
A mistake of programming,
An error of time keeping,
Or at the very least
Criminal conspiracy between the clock
And forces as yet undetermined
(Although I am reasonably certain
that the cat is somehow involved)
My very interesting ruminations are interrupted
By the mindless screeching
Of the device on the table next to my bed!
Surely this must be a mistake of epic proportion!
Surely it is the middle of the night!
I mean, the roosters aren’t even awake yet!
I am convinced that this is some form of sin,
Operating clearly outside of the providence and will
Of Almighty God
For who in their right mind
Would be awake
At what is so clearly
Such an ungodly hour?
And I learn in my haste
That perhaps
A hammer
Is not the best way
To gain an additional 10 minutes of blissful sleep
(and perhaps learn the outcome
of the aforementioned dream)
To activate the snooze alarm.
