By David Roth
© 13th January, 2005
I’ve never actually caught her.
I haven’t seen her.
But I know she’s guilty,
Oh yes, I know she’s guilty!
It’s the little things, you know?
That ‘me, sweet innocent me?’ look
That she gives me when I walk in the door.
The tuna fish smell
That lingers in the air
Where there is no reason
For anything to smell like tuna.
The nose streaks on the screen
And the paw prints in the dust
(OK – I admit it – there is a ‘little’ dust)
On my desk.
But the most tell-tale thing
Is when I have to open up the track ball cavity
On my mouse
And perform open heart surgery
To remove cat hair from the rollers.
Oh yes, CSI would be proud
Of the forensic evidence I have gathered.
But, the problem remains
That I’ve never actually caught her.
I haven’t seen her.
But I know she’s guilty,
Oh yes, I know she’s guilty!
And I think she has a good lawyer.
